You’ve got your eyes on the prize, you’re hard-working, you’re honest, you’re aspiring for greatness in everything you do. You’re wearing your big ol’ romantic heart on your sleeve. A good life will come your way.
But here’s the thing:
- You’re going to have to let go a little bit.
- You’re striving for perfection every day.
- But perfectionism can leave you with nothing but disappointment.
Because it’s not only unreachable most of the time, it’s unsustainable if you do reach it once in a while.
You might ace that geometry test one day, win the bike race the next or make the cutest girl in the school laugh the next, but eventually, life will serve you a sh*t sandwich, or three. Rather than thinking “If I just tried harder, I could have prevented that,” it’s better you try to learn to laugh it all off.
Getting all A’s is great but being furious with the world because you got one B+ is not.
Kissing at recess one day is a worthy goal indeed. (She’s a pretty good kisser.) But completely becoming a basket case the next three weeks because now she’s mysteriously kissing another is not.
The universe is not as fair as it ought to be. While you’ve read and loved books on free will and self-determination and you believe we can shape our own destinies, at some point, a lot of stuff is out of our control. Best to accept that when things don’t go your way, maybe you’re not being as screwed as you think.
People will come and go. Victories you think should have been yours will slip out of your hands. Jobs you think should have gotten will go to someone else. You’ll find out you don’t have as much control as you thought.
You might also find out this: a lot of times when you don’t get what you “want,” you’re actually dodging a bullet.
The best opportunities that will come your way will often not look like opportunities at all at first. If you stay open and let go of the outcome, and follow your instincts, you’ll end up with a lot of beautiful adventures.
Accept that the road will have some detours that seem infuriating at first. You will break bones and crash and need surgery a few times. Your car will break down on long arduous journeys and you will be late. Your heart will be yanked to and fro more than you want, and you won’t always get the answers you deserve.
Similar fates have befallen the most successful people in the world so get used to it. Embrace it. Consider your life will be richer because of them.
Rather than wait for the perfect moment for everything, have the courage to take imperfect action. Stay in motion.
Kiss someone who doesn’t exactly fit the list of expectations you have in your head. Travel to places you didn’t initially have on your map. Take some jobs you think might not be your style.
You might find out your compass isn’t as accurate as you think it is.
So let yourself wander off trail once in a while. I promise you’ll enjoy the view.
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The post Advice to My Overly-Uptight 16 Year-Old Self appeared first on The Good Men Project.